Make Everything Count

Have you caught yourself saying, "I have been working on this FOREVER, and I am just not getting better."  I sure have. 

Today I am going to write about a topic very dear to me: using your brain when you exercise.

Most of my training is done before the sun comes up, so I can understand the urge to treat a workout like a to-do list.  You showed up on time, and you are doing all of the work and if you keep doing that long enough the chalk will turn into fairy dust and you will miraculously figure out how to perfectly land an Olympic lift.  There are some movements that I have struggled with in the past that I just want to "get through" each time they come up, but this lack of progress has become a self-fulfilling prophecy.  When you shut down mentally to avoid something unpleasant, you also turn off your potential to learn and grow.

Mindless training leads to slow, accidental progress. 

It takes a conscious effort to overcome incorrect movement patterns.  If you cannot self-correct, then you need to find a coach who can help you, and you need to do what they say without argument. If you know better than your coach, then stop wasting their time,stop wasting your money, and go win the CrossFit Games.

I often find myself writing about topics that seem self-evident, yet most people need a reminder - myself included.  A few recent experiences have led me to decide that this is a topic worth writing about - that maybe it could help make us better.

On Wednesday, I was warming up my clean and jerks, and for the billionth time I was being slow and not at all aggressive under the bar.  For the remainder of the workout, my coach and I worked on that single point of performance.  Despite all of the times I have worked on that movement, I was able to make a significant improvement in a single workout by simply focusing. 

Today, a friend posted a picture of a torn hand. I inquired how her pull ups were coming along, and the response I got was too familiar:

"Oh Sam.... I wish I had more to report. Some days I feel like they are coming along and other days I feel like there is no way I have been working on them for almost 6 months :(I don't know what my problem is... Besides the fact that I also have a million other things to work on!!!! Ill update you if anything happens but for now I still only have 1 or 2"

I do not train with this athlete, so my only useful advice is that there is a solution to your problem, but you have to be willing to find it, and you have to be willing to do what it takes to fix it.

We are all working so hard, how could I possibly ask for more?  Because there is more there.  There is much more within me, and you never know how long you have to find it. Writing this sets me up for a reality check the next time I want to just go through the motions, but I am willing to man up and follow my own advice... because this is one of the solutions, and I am willing to do what it takes to fix it.

Eating for Performance

I am as guilty as the next person in asking the following question: "What is the ideal weight/body composition for competition?" 

 

Here is the answer: The weight/body composition that elicits the highest level of performance.

 

because CROSSFIT IS A SPORT JUDGED BY ACTUAL PERFORMANCE.

 

Props to all of my friends who do bodybuilding.  You guys work hard, and look awesome, but there are two big reasons why I could never do it (other than the fact that I don't have a boob job).  First, I think that really strict "dieting" is more horrifying than any CrossFit workout.  Also, I am relatively unmotivated by aesthetic goals beyond what it takes to feel good about myself and maintain a sex life.

 

During the summer, I put on a decent amount of weight because my only goal was to get as strong as humanly possible.  Even in that scenario, I was not eating a certain way to "gain weight," I was eating a certain way to facilitate muscle building.  As we get closer to competition time, the focus shifts to conditioning, and my diet will be one that optimizes performance in metcons (timed CF workouts)  Some weight loss and body fat loss will accompany this shift, but there is no goal weight, or goal body fat percentage. 

 

It is like preparing for a test by spending half of your time studying shit that you know won't be covered.  If you are too lean, or too fatty and you follow a diet that helps you destroy your workouts, then you will follow the yellow brick road to your final "ideal" destination. 

 

At the end of a competition, you don't get a critique of your body composition, you get a medal... or a "better luck next time."  

As I mentioned, I have been guilty of this too, because sometimes we find ourselves searching for an answer that is actually really obvious.  I am not going to tell you what you should eat, but maybe this will get you asking better questions.

 

Go forth and dominate.

The Myth of the Off-Season

Most sports have on-seasons and off-seasons.  During the "on-season", you do everything right, and during the "off-season" you can decompress and let loose - give yourself a chance to mentally and emotionally recover from the stress of dedicating yourself to a physically challenging task for a period of months.  

In CrossFit (as a sport), there is a myth of an 'off-season" but this is actually just jargon, and a lie.  We train differently throughout the year, but there is no fucking off-season if your goal is to get better as fast as you physically can.

If you want to refute this, "I took it easy this summer, and am getting ready to buckle down and train," you say... well don't be surprised if you are surpassed by someone who you used to beat on the reg.  If gradual improvement and fun is your goal, you can afford to take some time off, but If you want to get as good as you can, as fast as you can you are pretty much shit out of luck.  

Now, is it worth it to be the best you can possibly be when you finally reach your level of competition?  The answer for me is, yes.  That is why I am doing it. (PRIORITIES AND COMPROMISES)  My coach asked me almost a year ago what I wanted to get out of this, and my response was, "I want to see how good I can be."  Nothing has changed, and I know that for as long as I want to pursue that goal, it will take a year round commitment.  Last May, I was arguably one of the worst people to compete on a team at Regionals, but it was the pinnacle of my training and a great experience.  I sacrifice a lot to my training because I know for as long as I continue on this path, I will always be as good as I can be, and I absolutely love competing. 

So here is a shout out to all of my friends and teammates who are probably starting to feel like they have a few wires exposed as we are "entering the on-season."  Your dedication and hard work throughout the summer has not gone unnoticed.  I feel ya, and I am right here with you.

The Fear of Bulking Up - Part 2

Don't judge me, I'm bulking.

I wrote something a while ago about women avoiding strength training and/or CrossFit  because they do not want to become too muscular.  I stated that if you are a woman, then you shouldn't be afraid of "getting bulky" because putting on muscle is quite difficult.  It takes a long time and is too painful for most people to go through anyway.  This is still true, but as I have officially "crossed over" into the realm of "bulkiness" I have adopted what I consider to be a more advanced view on the issue. 

I think there is something we are missing when women talk to women about CrossFit.  Women who are new to weight training are functioning under two assumptions.  1. Muscles on women are unattractive. 2. If you do weight training, you will wake up one day with tons of muscles and be unattractive.

Training does change your body, but long before you have to buy new t-shirts, you will likely have a different idea of what attractive is, and you will likely be actually attracting more people. 

It's not that you will never get bigger, it's that by the time you get there, that is exactly what you are going to want. 

 This is what I actually look like without my Spiderman suit... or makeup... or coffee .

You will see things in yourself and others that you were previously blind to.  The mental image of the ideal body that you have been clinging to for years will fade as the things you are physically capable of take on infinitely greater importance.  You will meet awesome new people who genuinely appreciate you and think you are beautiful.  You will think they are beautiful, too.  If you are concerned that guys at bars won't think you are hot, you should read this sentence out loud and realize how silly you sound.  

I have met many people who claim to want new experiences and personal growth, but what they really want is more of the same thing to fit into the mold they have already created.  If you have the opportunity to do something that may change you as a person and expand your life, why in the world would you pass that up?  What an adventure.

I don't think that everyone should want to train like this.  But if you do want to be really strong and fit, and the only thing holding you back is the fear that you will become somehow less attractive, I beg you to reconsider, and trust me.  I have never met a strong woman who would give it up.  I doubt I ever will.

One Year of CrossFit

I have been meaning to write a post reflecting on my first year of CrossFit.  I have been working on this for a few weeks because, not surprisingly, it was difficult to choose a single, cohesive concept to encompass an entire year.  

One year ago I made a decision that changed the course of my life.  I decided I was going to "try CrossFit".  I sent a (now embarrassing) short autobiography to the owner of a gym downtown.  After I demonstrated my lack of fitness for 7 minutes, we went on a very educational 400 meter walk on which I was audience to an abridged history of CrossFit, the United States Armed Forces, and diet and programming for competitive athletes.  After some self-reflection and Facebook "encouragement" from the gym's head coach, I decided to sign a one year contract for unlimited classes.

During the next twelve months I underwent a pretty significant physical transformation.  I am not a naturally gifted athlete, but I was born with enough coordination to be good with lot of practice and hard work.  Sometimes I get frustrated that it takes me more practice to "get it", but I wouldn't change who I am if I could. If it came easier I don't think I would be willing to work so hard for it, and I don't think I would be as forgiving of myself when things don't go according to plan.  I am willing to literally tear myself apart in training even if I am going to come in last.  I did that for long enough that I don't come in last very often anymore, and sometimes, I come in first.  I did come in last today, but I came in first on Saturday ;-)

 

Unfortunately, until recently this toughness had not translated into all aspects of my personality.  Throughout the year, I used sarcasm and self-defeating humor to lighten the mood in situations where I lack confidence.   I am nice, but unwilling to take a leadership role except in situations where I feel completely comfortable.  I create harmony and camaraderie, but to the extent that I let myself get pushed around quite a bit.  I am done with it.

I am running out of jokes, and it is time to be something more than the nice girl who is pretty good at making fun of herself. There are times in your life when you just cannot be the same person you were the day before.  Like the extra small t-shirt I recently got trapped in (not a joke, I am super jacked now), I have outgrown my old role in my community. I owe so much to my gym for the athlete I have become, and it is time to pay it forward.  There are a lot of people who will be training for competition for the first time this year, and I know they are going to need support and leadership - because I did.

 

Training for team competition is a different kind of commitment.  It isn't something you do for a few months, then say, "I don't want to do this anymore because I have no life, and I am sick of eating broccoli, and training doesn't make me happy anymore, and the dramatics of my personal life are more important than the goals of my friends.  

 

I know it is hard, but I know that it is worth it, so I promise that I am not going anywhere.  I promise that I will be fully committed through the end of the 2013 season no matter what. I promise that I will be the kind of teammate that I want to have.  

I am not going to complain about ring dips, or feign apathy about workouts with handstand push ups because I am not going to get a "good time".  I am not going to use the excuse that "I just suck" to explain a poor performance, because I don't suck, and neither does anyone following the competition programming.  

I "accidentally" created the B-team last December because it was an easy way to blow off steam and frustration and joke about "not being there yet".  As I have grown, so has my "B team" which has come to embody the spirit of the underdog, and the willingness to put your ego aside and keep your shit together.  This is what I expect from myself and what I expect from my teammates.  

 

I could not ask for a better group of people to train with, and I look forward to being here for every body's pain, no reps, and success during my second year. 

 

Does Your Bullshit Make Me Look Fat?

I shit you not, somebody said this to me yesterday:

"I don't want to train like you because I want to be pretty." 

I am still trying to figure out in which alternate reality that isn't an insult. It's okay though, because if you think anorexic looks hot then starve away and stay the fuck out of my airspace.  Until I have a problem finding someone willing to have sex with me, I am not going to get too worried.  

I am starving and don't have time for a lengthy post, so I will get right to the point:

An alarming number of women are totally fucking delusional.  TRUTH BOMB: if you are a woman, and you are scared of "bulking up" or "gaining weight" then you have nothing to worry about because you don't have anything close to what it takes to get there anyway...

so settle down already, and quit trying to help me understand your lame ass concerns about your self image.  Quit blaming pop culture and the fashion industry for putting pressure on you.  Quit blaming your parents if you think it is their fault.  If your boyfriend likes you to be skinny, then he probably has a little penis and you can do better.  Grow the fuck up and quit giving out unsolicited word vomit opinions.  Quit telling people you are tough if you are scared of butter.  Butter is awesome and you are a fucking idiot.

Basically, if you have different goals and motivations then stay out of my business like I stay out of yours.  I am sure once you lose those last five pounds your life will be so great you won't even have time to be concerned with me anyway... right?

There is Only One Way to be Consistent

My only thought as I was looking at this week's programming was, "It is hard to wrap your mind around how much weight we are moving every week."   

Looking back over my progressive increase in strength training, I realized that it has always felt like a lot, but it has never been too much - from starting out with three strength workouts a week, to where I am currently sitting at 12 strength workouts, not including metcons (timed CF workouts).

If I had just been "doin' my own thing" for the past month, and then attempted the shit I have to do this week it would be like getting asked out for coffee and ending up face down, handcuffed to a bedpost.

For so long I have measured my progress using only two meters: workout times, and max effort lifts.  The easiest way to get discouraged is to start thinking that if you aren't hitting PRs, that you aren't making progress.  Unfortunately, it is the grey area between PRs when people tend to fall off the wagon.

It comes down to consistency.  If you do some of the program, you will get some of the benefits.

If you were building your home, you wouldn't leave out pieces of the foundation and hope for the best.  It works the same way with your body.  Toughness is more than busting out a few reps past comfortable on the workouts you do show up for.  Spending your lunch break in the weight room doing dumbell bench press doesn't give you that adrenaline rush that makes you feel like you should be starring in a Reebok CrossFit commercial, but it is the only.way.to.maximize.your.

potential...PERIOD.

Last week was a powerful week of training for me.  Early in the week I easily hit a new 5RM overhead squat of 110#...three times.  I did a set of 17 front squats at 120#, which makes me seriously question my previous 1RM of 145#.  On Friday, I landed a 100# SQUAT snatch after spending nearly ten months afraid to get underneath a barbell.  I did my first LEGIT weighted dip, and I did sets of 3 pull ups through 70# of band tension.  FUCK YEAH!  I am a bit sore today.

If you are consistent, then you will hit PRs, and you will start beating people who are stronger than you because you are a mean motherfucker who knows what suck really is.  

If you take my excitement as conceit then you clearly don't know me.  I could blog all day long about missed lifts, including one I missed in front of a few thousand people in a suburb outside of Chicago.  You win some, and you lose some, and the timing isn't always right.  That is training -- that is life.  

The only thing you can do is be honest and consistent with everything thing you do, and give everything your best because that is your character and there isn't another option.