Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Does Your Bullshit Make Me Look Fat?

I shit you not, somebody said this to me yesterday:

"I don't want to train like you because I want to be pretty." 

I am still trying to figure out in which alternate reality that isn't an insult. It's okay though, because if you think anorexic looks hot then starve away and stay the fuck out of my airspace.  Until I have a problem finding someone willing to have sex with me, I am not going to get too worried.  

I am starving and don't have time for a lengthy post, so I will get right to the point:

An alarming number of women are totally fucking delusional.  TRUTH BOMB: if you are a woman, and you are scared of "bulking up" or "gaining weight" then you have nothing to worry about because you don't have anything close to what it takes to get there anyway...

so settle down already, and quit trying to help me understand your lame ass concerns about your self image.  Quit blaming pop culture and the fashion industry for putting pressure on you.  Quit blaming your parents if you think it is their fault.  If your boyfriend likes you to be skinny, then he probably has a little penis and you can do better.  Grow the fuck up and quit giving out unsolicited word vomit opinions.  Quit telling people you are tough if you are scared of butter.  Butter is awesome and you are a fucking idiot.

Basically, if you have different goals and motivations then stay out of my business like I stay out of yours.  I am sure once you lose those last five pounds your life will be so great you won't even have time to be concerned with me anyway... right?
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Monday, August 6, 2012

There is Only One Way to be Consistent


My only thought as I was looking at this week's programming was, "It is hard to wrap your mind around how much weight we are moving every week."   

Looking back over my progressive increase in strength training, I realized that it has always felt like a lot, but it has never been too much - from starting out with three strength workouts a week, to where I am currently sitting at 12 strength workouts, not including metcons (timed CF workouts).

If I had just been "doin' my own thing" for the past month, and then attempted the shit I have to do this week it would be like getting asked out for coffee and ending up face down, handcuffed to a bedpost.

For so long I have measured my progress using only two meters: workout times, and max effort lifts.  The easiest way to get discouraged is to start thinking that if you aren't hitting PRs, that you aren't making progress.  Unfortunately, it is the grey area between PRs when people tend to fall off the wagon.

It comes down to consistency.  If you do some of the program, you will get some of the benefits.

If you were building your home, you wouldn't leave out pieces of the foundation and hope for the best.  It works the same way with your body.  Toughness is more than busting out a few reps past comfortable on the workouts you do show up for.  Spending your lunch break in the weight room doing dumbell bench press doesn't give you that adrenaline rush that makes you feel like you should be starring in a Reebok CrossFit commercial, but it is the only.way.to.maximize.your.
potential...PERIOD.

Last week was a powerful week of training for me.  Early in the week I easily hit a new 5RM overhead squat of 110#...three times.  I did a set of 17 front squats at 120#, which makes me seriously question my previous 1RM of 145#.  On Friday, I landed a 100# SQUAT snatch after spending nearly ten months afraid to get underneath a barbell.  I did my first LEGIT weighted dip, and I did sets of 3 pull ups through 70# of band tension.  FUCK YEAH!  I am a bit sore today.

If you are consistent, then you will hit PRs, and you will start beating people who are stronger than you because you are a mean motherfucker who knows what suck really is.  

If you take my excitement as conceit then you clearly don't know me.  I could blog all day long about missed lifts, including one I missed in front of a few thousand people in a suburb outside of Chicago.  You win some, and you lose some, and the timing isn't always right.  That is training -- that is life.  

The only thing you can do is be honest and consistent with everything thing you do, and give everything your best because that is your character and there isn't another option.
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About Sam

I am a writer in Omaha, Nebraska sharing my adventures in the foundations of healthy living - nutrition, being active, and being funny.

I was born in Kansas City in the sweltering summer of July, 1986. I was nearly born in the car because I was so pumped to get my life started. I have been bouncing off of the walls ever since. Growing up I hung out with the big kids who were even older than my sister (and best friend) Allie. I quickly developed an "I'm over it" 'tude toward kids my own age whose pastimes seemed juvenile - an interesting perspective coming from a preschooler. My snobbish worldview was hard earned however, as I was forced to learn both multiplication and division early to keep up when we played "school," and I was always forced to do dangerous stuff first to make sure it was okay, like eating unidentified berries and making the first run on super steep hills while sledding. We biked all day, ate wild honeysuckle, painted the house with mud, and collected cicada shells for no reason other than they stick to fabric and freaked my mom out.

I quickly realized that even little legs can get you as far as a car can, and as a young child, you really have nothing but time. My adventures were only restrained by the fact that adults do not find it acceptable for young children to explore the town on foot unaccompanied. I prematurely developed a desire to be an independent self-supporting person, so I opened a Kool-Aid/popcorn business to finance my big plans. Looking back, I would say that the only issues holding me back were my limited advertising budget and the fact that I was still too short to ride roller coasters. People just don't take you seriously when you can't go on the upside-down rides.

I was moved to Omaha in the second grade. I continued walking all over the place, exploring surrounding neighborhoods and visiting grocery stores to pick up my favorites: Goldfish, Sprite, and sugar cigarettes. I don't even think you can buy those anymore, and for the record, I never started smoking.

I never lost my hard work ethic, and I needed to increase my income to afford my new hobbies of beading and Polaroid photography. At the age of ten I mailed in a response to an advertisement for paper delivery routes without discussing the issue with my family. Sometimes you need to take matters into your own hands when people don't share you vision. The people at the Omaha World Herald must have had a good feeling about me becuase they contacted my parents to tell them that they wanted to hire me but would feel better if there was an older family member onboard. I still wonder if Allie holds any resentment toward me for pulling her into the labor force when she was only twelve.

In third grade, I followed Allie's lead and began taking dance classes at Mary Lorraine's Dance Center. For the next eleven years it became "what I did." Nowadays, I train more like an athlete, but I will always move like a dancer, and being in a studio will always feel like home.

After high school I relocated again (this time of my own volition) to study "everything" in the College of Business Administration at the University of Nebraska - Lincoln. I acquired a degree in marketing and finance that I may use someday. More importantly, I became a close friend and Alpha Phi sister with a cross country runner who easily persuaded me to train for the 2005 Lincoln half-marathon. I have been running ever since. In April 2011 I developed plantar fasciitis after jumping into an intense 50-70 mile/week schedule. This is the first athletic injury in my life. Although it has been indescribably frustrating both physically and emotionally, the silver lining is my increased receptivity to more variety in fitness disciplines.

I enjoy Pilates, yoga, enjoy Zumba, plyometric interval training, running, walking, and seeing how quickly I can run up stairs without losing my lunch. When I am too exhausted to move, I read and write. I love fiction, non-fiction, cookbooks, poetry, philosophy, song lyrics, and comedy. I have been writing for as long as I can remember. I love spell check, and felt tip pens.

I am happy and optimistic most of the time. I enjoy living simply and deeply. I hope you enjoy what I have to share.







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