Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Sometimes the Best Thing You Can Do is Lose


Sometimes the best thing you can do is lose. 

This week was a training "free week" and I was told I could choose any workout I wanted to do today.

There were several workouts that came to mind that I wanted a chance to "re-do."  Now that I have had a week off I am sure it would be a nice confidence boost to PR on a workout that I know I could PR on.  I was even prepared to write a blog post about it.  LAME  When my ego was unable to lead me to a decision, I gave it up.  The correct decision is always the one you make with a peaceful heart and pure intentions.  

So today, for the first time in awhile, I just showed up and did the workout that everyone was doing.  While training for regionals, I really missed working out with everyone.  Training solo will start up again soon, but for one day I just wanted to be handed a workout and have a chance to see how I fared against my peers.  

Thrusters and rowing.  AWESOME (not)

Right away, Taylor and I were pretty evenly matched on the 750 meter row, me finishing just slightly behind.  I was able to pull ahead on the first set of thrusters because I stuck to sets I could efficiently handle and for some reason he was running into trouble with a weight that should have been no problem.  After gaining a lead on a lucky break, I had no intention of slowing down, and we remained closely matched throughout the workout until the final set of 6 thrusters that he was able to do unbroken and I had to break into 2 sets.  If he would not have run into trouble early in the workout, he would have gained a lead I would not have been able to catch.  If I had attempted, and succeeded to hit the final set unbroken, I would have come out slightly ahead.  

One of the things I decided after regionals is that I was going to learn how to be a better competitor.  Taylor is a better athlete than I am, no doubt, but due to whatever the circumstances were today, we were pretty evenly matched.  When you train with the same people all the time, it is easy to perform as everyone expects you to perform.  Without even realizing it, you pace yourself in line with how you are expected to stack up.

I wasn't trying to "compete" and I sure as hell wasn't trying to learn anything, but life proceeds with or without your consent or suggestion. You don't always know when you will grow, so you have to always be ready and open to do so.  I went into my workout today in a happy mood, motivated by my enjoyment of training with friends instead of a desire to prove a point I already knew I could make.  
When I was under the handstand push up wall at Regionals and realized that we were going to be the last ones on the floor alone, I  felt nothing.  No anger, no shame, no embarrassment.  I have never been mad about what happened, and I never will be.  I don't believe in a pecking order, I am not afraid to lose anymore.
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About Sam

I am a writer in Omaha, Nebraska sharing my adventures in the foundations of healthy living - nutrition, being active, and being funny.

I was born in Kansas City in the sweltering summer of July, 1986. I was nearly born in the car because I was so pumped to get my life started. I have been bouncing off of the walls ever since. Growing up I hung out with the big kids who were even older than my sister (and best friend) Allie. I quickly developed an "I'm over it" 'tude toward kids my own age whose pastimes seemed juvenile - an interesting perspective coming from a preschooler. My snobbish worldview was hard earned however, as I was forced to learn both multiplication and division early to keep up when we played "school," and I was always forced to do dangerous stuff first to make sure it was okay, like eating unidentified berries and making the first run on super steep hills while sledding. We biked all day, ate wild honeysuckle, painted the house with mud, and collected cicada shells for no reason other than they stick to fabric and freaked my mom out.

I quickly realized that even little legs can get you as far as a car can, and as a young child, you really have nothing but time. My adventures were only restrained by the fact that adults do not find it acceptable for young children to explore the town on foot unaccompanied. I prematurely developed a desire to be an independent self-supporting person, so I opened a Kool-Aid/popcorn business to finance my big plans. Looking back, I would say that the only issues holding me back were my limited advertising budget and the fact that I was still too short to ride roller coasters. People just don't take you seriously when you can't go on the upside-down rides.

I was moved to Omaha in the second grade. I continued walking all over the place, exploring surrounding neighborhoods and visiting grocery stores to pick up my favorites: Goldfish, Sprite, and sugar cigarettes. I don't even think you can buy those anymore, and for the record, I never started smoking.

I never lost my hard work ethic, and I needed to increase my income to afford my new hobbies of beading and Polaroid photography. At the age of ten I mailed in a response to an advertisement for paper delivery routes without discussing the issue with my family. Sometimes you need to take matters into your own hands when people don't share you vision. The people at the Omaha World Herald must have had a good feeling about me becuase they contacted my parents to tell them that they wanted to hire me but would feel better if there was an older family member onboard. I still wonder if Allie holds any resentment toward me for pulling her into the labor force when she was only twelve.

In third grade, I followed Allie's lead and began taking dance classes at Mary Lorraine's Dance Center. For the next eleven years it became "what I did." Nowadays, I train more like an athlete, but I will always move like a dancer, and being in a studio will always feel like home.

After high school I relocated again (this time of my own volition) to study "everything" in the College of Business Administration at the University of Nebraska - Lincoln. I acquired a degree in marketing and finance that I may use someday. More importantly, I became a close friend and Alpha Phi sister with a cross country runner who easily persuaded me to train for the 2005 Lincoln half-marathon. I have been running ever since. In April 2011 I developed plantar fasciitis after jumping into an intense 50-70 mile/week schedule. This is the first athletic injury in my life. Although it has been indescribably frustrating both physically and emotionally, the silver lining is my increased receptivity to more variety in fitness disciplines.

I enjoy Pilates, yoga, enjoy Zumba, plyometric interval training, running, walking, and seeing how quickly I can run up stairs without losing my lunch. When I am too exhausted to move, I read and write. I love fiction, non-fiction, cookbooks, poetry, philosophy, song lyrics, and comedy. I have been writing for as long as I can remember. I love spell check, and felt tip pens.

I am happy and optimistic most of the time. I enjoy living simply and deeply. I hope you enjoy what I have to share.







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