Monday, July 23, 2012

Gravity Doesn't Give a Fuck About Your Problems


The workout "Isabel" is 30 snatches for time at 95 pounds for women/135 pounds for men.  In case you don't know me, I am a woman, so I did 95#.

I have been fixating on Isabel (in a completely non-sexual way) for about a month - pretty much ever since I was confident that I could physically complete the workout.  I have been feeling spicy lately, so I challenged my training partner and good friend Jessi to compete against me.  The idea was popular because who doesn't want to watch two chicks throw down on a workout that seems to be about a vagina.
Conveniently, I cannot think of another workout that we are better matched in.  Jessi's 1 rep max is only 5 pounds over mine, and both of our max lifts are barely over the weight for this workout: 100# for me, 105# for Jess.

Soooo... 30 attempts at 90% - 95% of my 1 rep max, at 100% intensity, against my best friend and training partner. NO BIG DEAL.  But honestly, its not a big deal.

I enjoy exercise because I don't waste brain space trying to draw parallels between lifting weights and living life.  Exercise is nothing like life.  A barbell is constant and simple.  Gravity doesn't give a fuck about your problems.  Oh, you overcame a barbell?  Tell me about how a stack of weights betrayed you.  Oh you endured a bunch of wallballs?  Tell me about how that compares to making deep personal sacrifices for another human.  Because if you can find a workout that makes it any easier to deal with life, sign me the fuck up.  On a positive note, I have been destroying workouts recently because I am like a hyper focused ball of aggression with nothing to lose.

lols

The average time for this workout is about 5:30.  As mentioned before, I am an average crossfitter, so we were hoping for six minutes and to not poop our pants.  We set up our bars facing each other with the clock between us, and right before we started our coach said, "if you stop, you will lose."  I just smiled.  Four and half minutes later, Jess and I called time within seconds of each other and collapsed to the floor, both of us happily clocking the fastest benchmark either of us has completed, ever.

Instead of my typical fist pump, I stumbled over to Jess laughing and gave her a high five.  I could not ask for a more genuine friend.  She brings out the absolute best in me, and I would do anything for her.

I know you are reading this, so thank you Jess.
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About Sam

I am a writer in Omaha, Nebraska sharing my adventures in the foundations of healthy living - nutrition, being active, and being funny.

I was born in Kansas City in the sweltering summer of July, 1986. I was nearly born in the car because I was so pumped to get my life started. I have been bouncing off of the walls ever since. Growing up I hung out with the big kids who were even older than my sister (and best friend) Allie. I quickly developed an "I'm over it" 'tude toward kids my own age whose pastimes seemed juvenile - an interesting perspective coming from a preschooler. My snobbish worldview was hard earned however, as I was forced to learn both multiplication and division early to keep up when we played "school," and I was always forced to do dangerous stuff first to make sure it was okay, like eating unidentified berries and making the first run on super steep hills while sledding. We biked all day, ate wild honeysuckle, painted the house with mud, and collected cicada shells for no reason other than they stick to fabric and freaked my mom out.

I quickly realized that even little legs can get you as far as a car can, and as a young child, you really have nothing but time. My adventures were only restrained by the fact that adults do not find it acceptable for young children to explore the town on foot unaccompanied. I prematurely developed a desire to be an independent self-supporting person, so I opened a Kool-Aid/popcorn business to finance my big plans. Looking back, I would say that the only issues holding me back were my limited advertising budget and the fact that I was still too short to ride roller coasters. People just don't take you seriously when you can't go on the upside-down rides.

I was moved to Omaha in the second grade. I continued walking all over the place, exploring surrounding neighborhoods and visiting grocery stores to pick up my favorites: Goldfish, Sprite, and sugar cigarettes. I don't even think you can buy those anymore, and for the record, I never started smoking.

I never lost my hard work ethic, and I needed to increase my income to afford my new hobbies of beading and Polaroid photography. At the age of ten I mailed in a response to an advertisement for paper delivery routes without discussing the issue with my family. Sometimes you need to take matters into your own hands when people don't share you vision. The people at the Omaha World Herald must have had a good feeling about me becuase they contacted my parents to tell them that they wanted to hire me but would feel better if there was an older family member onboard. I still wonder if Allie holds any resentment toward me for pulling her into the labor force when she was only twelve.

In third grade, I followed Allie's lead and began taking dance classes at Mary Lorraine's Dance Center. For the next eleven years it became "what I did." Nowadays, I train more like an athlete, but I will always move like a dancer, and being in a studio will always feel like home.

After high school I relocated again (this time of my own volition) to study "everything" in the College of Business Administration at the University of Nebraska - Lincoln. I acquired a degree in marketing and finance that I may use someday. More importantly, I became a close friend and Alpha Phi sister with a cross country runner who easily persuaded me to train for the 2005 Lincoln half-marathon. I have been running ever since. In April 2011 I developed plantar fasciitis after jumping into an intense 50-70 mile/week schedule. This is the first athletic injury in my life. Although it has been indescribably frustrating both physically and emotionally, the silver lining is my increased receptivity to more variety in fitness disciplines.

I enjoy Pilates, yoga, enjoy Zumba, plyometric interval training, running, walking, and seeing how quickly I can run up stairs without losing my lunch. When I am too exhausted to move, I read and write. I love fiction, non-fiction, cookbooks, poetry, philosophy, song lyrics, and comedy. I have been writing for as long as I can remember. I love spell check, and felt tip pens.

I am happy and optimistic most of the time. I enjoy living simply and deeply. I hope you enjoy what I have to share.







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