Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Yoga will not make you fit. Period.

When I started strength training I realized that I was a worthless, weak, sack of shit, but in my typical diplomatic style I held a "to each his own" stance on fitness.



Well, I am officially going to change my stance. To each his own on how you spend your time, but the only way to become a fit human is to do weight bearing work. "Doing cardio" is a nice way of saying you are too weak to pick up heavy stuff and move it around. Hopping around like five year old on crack to top 40 remixes is not going to make you fit. Neither is yoga.

I read "How yoga makes you fit" during my lunch break because I forgot my laptop and Pinterest has been boring today anyway.  Here is my Spark Notes: It doesn't.

I love it when magazine articles provide such earth shattering info bits like, "The heft of scientific evidence shows that fitter people are less likely to suffer from heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and certain cancers." (Found in "Pump it Up" by Yoga Journal Staff in the February 2012 Issue)


Fit people are less likely to be sick... DUH. Not surprisingly, the article is unable to provide any scientific data backing up the inferred claim that a yoga practice improves fitness. I am really starting to wonder how this article made it past the editor, who is either a terrible critical reader, or is hoping that the entire reading audience is.


Settle down, I love yoga too. I actually have yoga to thank for my composure and ability to let go of frustration during tough workouts and situations in life. Yoga helps me calm my mind and practice releasing mental tension and frustration. A skill that transfers very well to real strenuous exercise. Yoga improves my flexibility (somewhat, but so does just stretching). Yoga is a fun and calming way to spend an hour. Yoga does not make you fit. A yoga practice can bring many powerful benefits into a person's life, but quit trying to hammer the nail with a screwdriver. Downward dog is not a skill transfer exercise for lifting a sandbag over your head. Get real.


I am going to be incorporating more yoga and stretching into my life because it is not physically possible to do any more intense training and I am as wound up as a tangled Slinky... but there is no way I am going to quit going "lion-mode" at the gym just because I have to buy bigger yoga pants and some vegan writer was high enough on patchouli and world peace to suggest that I could get fit without ever having to leave my comfortable, eco-friendly foam rectangle. 


Namaste, bitches.
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About Sam

I am a writer in Omaha, Nebraska sharing my adventures in the foundations of healthy living - nutrition, being active, and being funny.

I was born in Kansas City in the sweltering summer of July, 1986. I was nearly born in the car because I was so pumped to get my life started. I have been bouncing off of the walls ever since. Growing up I hung out with the big kids who were even older than my sister (and best friend) Allie. I quickly developed an "I'm over it" 'tude toward kids my own age whose pastimes seemed juvenile - an interesting perspective coming from a preschooler. My snobbish worldview was hard earned however, as I was forced to learn both multiplication and division early to keep up when we played "school," and I was always forced to do dangerous stuff first to make sure it was okay, like eating unidentified berries and making the first run on super steep hills while sledding. We biked all day, ate wild honeysuckle, painted the house with mud, and collected cicada shells for no reason other than they stick to fabric and freaked my mom out.

I quickly realized that even little legs can get you as far as a car can, and as a young child, you really have nothing but time. My adventures were only restrained by the fact that adults do not find it acceptable for young children to explore the town on foot unaccompanied. I prematurely developed a desire to be an independent self-supporting person, so I opened a Kool-Aid/popcorn business to finance my big plans. Looking back, I would say that the only issues holding me back were my limited advertising budget and the fact that I was still too short to ride roller coasters. People just don't take you seriously when you can't go on the upside-down rides.

I was moved to Omaha in the second grade. I continued walking all over the place, exploring surrounding neighborhoods and visiting grocery stores to pick up my favorites: Goldfish, Sprite, and sugar cigarettes. I don't even think you can buy those anymore, and for the record, I never started smoking.

I never lost my hard work ethic, and I needed to increase my income to afford my new hobbies of beading and Polaroid photography. At the age of ten I mailed in a response to an advertisement for paper delivery routes without discussing the issue with my family. Sometimes you need to take matters into your own hands when people don't share you vision. The people at the Omaha World Herald must have had a good feeling about me becuase they contacted my parents to tell them that they wanted to hire me but would feel better if there was an older family member onboard. I still wonder if Allie holds any resentment toward me for pulling her into the labor force when she was only twelve.

In third grade, I followed Allie's lead and began taking dance classes at Mary Lorraine's Dance Center. For the next eleven years it became "what I did." Nowadays, I train more like an athlete, but I will always move like a dancer, and being in a studio will always feel like home.

After high school I relocated again (this time of my own volition) to study "everything" in the College of Business Administration at the University of Nebraska - Lincoln. I acquired a degree in marketing and finance that I may use someday. More importantly, I became a close friend and Alpha Phi sister with a cross country runner who easily persuaded me to train for the 2005 Lincoln half-marathon. I have been running ever since. In April 2011 I developed plantar fasciitis after jumping into an intense 50-70 mile/week schedule. This is the first athletic injury in my life. Although it has been indescribably frustrating both physically and emotionally, the silver lining is my increased receptivity to more variety in fitness disciplines.

I enjoy Pilates, yoga, enjoy Zumba, plyometric interval training, running, walking, and seeing how quickly I can run up stairs without losing my lunch. When I am too exhausted to move, I read and write. I love fiction, non-fiction, cookbooks, poetry, philosophy, song lyrics, and comedy. I have been writing for as long as I can remember. I love spell check, and felt tip pens.

I am happy and optimistic most of the time. I enjoy living simply and deeply. I hope you enjoy what I have to share.







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